Monday, August 30, 2004
SEEING THE SEE LITTLE...

Reminds me of Helen Keller.
A blind woman who never took problems as big disasters in life.
I adore her self-esteem.
I wish I could be like her.

I'm still worried about mama.
She would be home maybe tomorrow.
I'm happy because she's already okay.
I hope and pray for her fast recovery.
Mama, I Love You.

Today can be synonymous to 'oh-so-lazy'.
For once I became a home buddy.

I stayed in my apartment the whole day.
Watched tv programs which I learned to love kahit sagad ang kakornihan.
.:. But I love 'the buzz' and 's files' with me watching it simultaneously.
Ate tons of pork barbecues and yummy isaws courtesy of the manang at the grill.
Tidied up my very 'chaotic' dresser.
Fixed some old high school pictures. geez, I miss my high school life.
And...
Took a bath late in the afternoon after those hard work.

I realized that you don't need to be at the outside world to learn new lessons in life.
Staying in my apartment today, doing those things made me feel relaxed and in a way, made me know myself better.
Today I came to understand that even though I am alone, I must not forget that God is still with me.
Not being morbid in terms of thoughts and words. I should be thankful that I have this kind of life.

With this, I wanna thank the people who make my life meaningful.

Mama and Papa*Thanks so much. Because of you, I live this happy life. I can't live without you and my brothers and sisters. I Love You.
My Brothers and Sisters*We may not see that much often, but I assure all of you that I am still the brother or sister, whichever you want to call me, who will just be here when you need someone.
My Barkada*Thanks for the company we've shared since high school. We may not go out in gimiks, though, I still know in my heart, you are still my closest friends.
My Class Barkada*Being with you is a sure blessing. I Love You Guys.
My Friends*Thanks for making me special. I'll remember the fun times we've spent, for the rest of my life.
My Likes*I Like you, but you don't like me. So? what's the point? {there is no point myrrh!}...

This might be my last blog entry.
I know you're gonna miss me like I am gonne be missing you.
I Love You.

Helen Keller. Hello. ;)

Lastly,
Thank GOD. For this wonderful life. I pray for good health, safety, long life and happiness for me, my family, and my friends.

Witticism is not the right term.
It's rigorous.
I may be a jest in the big portions of my life.
But this is true.

My next blog will be tomorrow, If I will still be alive.

Sunday, August 29, 2004
GOD, PLEASE...

As soon as I received my sister's sms that mama was confined at the hospital, I quickly called her.

I can't help but cry.
Achy answered her phone.
I was scolded by her because I was crying.

I am just worried about my mom.
I can't talk, think, or even act normally when I remember mama in pain.

Mama's sugar level increased, causing her to chill and have fever.
She would be taking lots of medications again.

I Love mama and the whole of my family so much.
More than my life.
More than anyone.
More than anything.

I can't imagine myself when something horrible happens to my mom or to anyone in my family.
I wish I'd be dead before that happens.

I made a vow to come first before anyone.
I wish I would.

God. I beg of you. Please. I know you get me.

FINDING HIM-O...

Memories lingering in my mind.
Succulent fears present deep inside.
Regrets undeniably seen.
Mind confused, Heart insisting.

I need him.
I really need him.
I really really need him.

Is HE existing?
Or, Will HE be?

This is not a mere enrichment as a figment of my imagination.
Rather, It's a fact, that I need someone to hold onto.
I need Love.
Though I have my family and friends who do.

I need it.
ASAP.

I am obviously bothered.
Tormented by the endless apprehensions and illusions about Me, Him, and Love.

I know I have been blabbering about this and that and this and that since my first blog.
I have waited for Him that long, and I still do.

On the other hand [Sa kabilang banda]

I am very thankful because my family's there with their all-out support.

I remember my three sisters seriously giving me the right to have a boyfriend.
~HE should be someone not lower than my level.
~HE must not aggravate or be abusive of me.
~HE should Love me for who or what I am, or may be.
~HE should give me me his all out respect.

I am Lucky because I have sisters like them.
Still unlucky because I can't FIND HIM yet.

God, I Love You.

Saturday, August 28, 2004
HABANG TUMATAGAL...

TODAY'S BEST HITS
Highest grade in Filipino. A dazzling 17/20. Singing 'Kung Okay lang sa'yo' by True faith was very thrilling.
Skipped my Algebra classes.
Had Lunch with my barkada [kate,rhyn and eliza] at Rob.Place.
But the best thing is, I saw Loureck.

LET'S TRY MATH!
*Let: 'equal to' be 'the soulmate of'
'added to' be 'loves'
Tong is equal to Lao To.
Allera is equal to Flores.
Warren is equal to Kate.
Jahmal [tama ba?!!] is equal to De Jesus.

Tong in height. Lao To added to Tong is equal to Baby Boy/Girl.
*Equation is INVALID...

Wahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Tinotopak ka na naman!...

FRIENDSHIPSNESS ;)
I just approved Jose, my beauty buddy's testimonial.
Hey! Pwedeng i-add nyo ko sa Friendster? myrrh0880@yahoo.com
Wala lang, share ko lang...
Thanks Dear Jose... I really hope we could find our 'knight in shining armor'

Ryan, Erby, HunHui and Jeck were with us at R.P.
I have no guts to bond with them yet.
Time will come. Malay mo, super closeness pa kami...

KAPALPAKAN, atbp.
I regret buying the iced tea at auntie anne's during merienda.
Rhyn said eating at Auntie Anne's was a mistake.
At ang kagalang-galang na Eliza, nanghihinayang dahil hindi niya man lamang pinansin o binati man lang ang pinakamamahal niyang si FPA...

SA AWA NG DIYOS
...Hindi bumaha ngayon.
...Hindi ako pumalpak sa english.
...Nandiyan ang mga kaibigan ko.
At higit sa lahat...
...Nandiyan pa ang aking pamilya, na siyang nasisilbing buhay ko.

THANK YOU GOD! yaan mo, makakabawi rin ako sa'yo.. hehehehe... ;)

On the other hand...
I feel something miserable inside of me.
I just don't feel like pouring it out here.
No one can ask me to say it.
I have no one to blame except myself.
But I assure you, This has got nothing to do with lust, murder or any criminal deed. It's just a simple fact I only know, or better yet, FEEL

Friday, August 27, 2004
OF SHOPPING, FAMILY SIZE, ANNOYING FLOODS AND LAZINESS...

We had to raid tutuban.
Gotta buy gifts for our friend.
Cheap, But it's da tot dat kawnts right?
Our first time to have it there.
Grabe! So init, so gulo and so... arrrgh!...

Classes still suspended.
No annoying logic, brain crushing biology, lullaby-singing theology and tense-causing RC.
The whole of my time was dedicated to my friends and to good-heavens' tutuban.

Mama Old, Karel's grandma was with us.
[Me, Karel, Beth and Ate Judith]
Yeah. It's such blessing.
She had to treat us for merienda and all the gastos-stuff.
Lucky for us.
I wish I have a grandma like Mama Old.
I have one but she's too old for shopping, especially those involving Divisoria.

I hope tomorrow would be a*okay.
I wish there would be NO 'bodies of water' around.

Geez.. In this times, I miss my family.
I remember the days when classes were suspended because of the relentless beats of typhoons in our province.
We would play Monopoly or just lie on our parents' bed ang sing with my two brothers as the guitarists and us as the singers. O.Missing You, Torete, Foolish Heart, So in love, forever, sukiyaki, looking through the eyes of love and I'll be are some of our 'oh-so-many' favorite songs - Me, Papa, Mama, My Brothers and My Sisters.
Mama would cook sumptuous lunch and meriendas to relish our happy spirits.
Papa would let us watch movies. [One of such is the 'Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion.. see! I still remember!]
I belong to a big but happy family... right?

Let me introduce them to you...

Papa...Romeo R. Lao To, Sr. [Businessman and the best father of all...]
Mama...Irene P. Lao To,cpa [Accountant and the best mother of all...]

Achy Ning...Juliet Lao To-Huenda,cpa [Married to Rommel Huenda,cpa Audit Manager, BayanTel Philippines]
'Nung No...Ronald P. Lao To[computer analyst and businessman. Stre Manager of Octagon Superstore]
Achy Mei...Engr. Juli Anne Mayette Lao To-Gavino[Married to Arch.Isaac B. Gavino, Jr.]
Jedje...Romeo P. Lao To, Jr. [Senior, BS Information Technology]
Ako...Romir Francis P. Lao To [Freshman, BS Commerce]
Shobe...Juli Rinah Maeh P. Lao To [Junior High School]
Shoti...Ronnel John P. Lao To [2nd Grade]

I miss them so much.
I'm really excited to get there again.

October 9 is just around the corner...

I know God would keep them safe...
I Love You Guyz!...

Haaay Buhaaay!...

LabYah God! Sana hindi bumaha bukas!...

Thursday, August 26, 2004
Makata ako ngayon!...

I Love the Pedicabs.
I Adore the person who invented it.

Ask why?

I just crossed España River this morning riding on a very glamorous and elegant orange tatanus-causing sidecar.
I did.
And for everyone who gives a damn, I survived.

Raising both feet higher than my head level. Was never that exciting.
Embracing my paperbag [hell yeah! suppose to be my p.e. today!] and
Taking tight hold of my bag, were equally thrilling.
And oh! I almost forgot, I paid a dazzling P30 for the very adventurous ride...

Thank God I am still alive.

Bad Trip! sa dinami dami ba naman ng makikita ko sa Ilog España, ay ang pinaka walang hiya kopang kaklase.. ang kapita-pitaga at kagalang-galang na si Jay-R Llarena... Pucha!...

*Maganda na sana ang araw ko dahil maginaw, at higit sa lahat, walang Matias na magpapapula ng mga mata ko ngayon. Kaso, habang kumakain ako ng peanut brittle, naku! kumikiliti na ang tubig ulan sa aking mga binti, akala ko dala yun ng espiritu ng protein na dala ng kinakain ko, yun pala, ang aking apartment, nakakagimbal man at kagila-gilalas, nagiging swimming pool rin pala! taray!...

I am still at the point of adjusting from my 'oh-so-quiet' promdi life.
[geez, I miss my family again.. LavYah guyz..]
But, I am an excellent beginner right?
Imagine me freaking out habang dinadaan ang sidecar ng napakawalanghiyang pedicab driver na yan sa España with me inside!

Isa lang ang masasabi ko ngayon.
Pag ang tubig baha ay umaabot sa binti ni Myrrh,
Nagiging pala-tagalog siya.
Para bagang, sumasapi ang kaluluwa ng makathang si Balagtas.

Sabi nga ni Ziggie na isang cartoon character na hindi sikat...
Feel awful because roses have thorns, but rejoice because thorns have roses...

Hay Buhay!
Lord, Help naman diyan!... ;)

LORD.. I LOVE YOU...

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test

Wednesday, August 25, 2004
BONDING TIME!...

Rizal Course had never been hard!.
The test we had was probably the most brain-wrecking I ever had.
Got an 18/25 Mark in Algebra!
Wahahahaha!... Proud! Kasi sariling pagod ko yun! hehehe...

Got to bond with the Pre-Com Officers and Co-staffers today.
Gosh!
"Pupunta ako sa Buwan, sinong sasama sa'kin?"
***At first, I really had a hard time figuring out the pattern.
***Ate Nori's pakana.. Hehehe...
"Pupunta ako sa Party..."
"Pupunta ako ng Batangas..."
"Pupunta ako ng Tagaytay..."
"FIRST SOUND FIRST..."

Rovic, Keat, Kate and I promoted the EPOCH.
The "Students' war against poverty"-thing.
it's the Acquaintance Party of the Pre-Commerce students on Saturday.

Eliza had related me stories about F.P.A. and her [eliza's] ex-bf.
Oh My GoD! I nearly forgot, may pinapa-research pala sa'kin si ELiza!

Time to Go!...

x's:
Jose*DearBeautyBuddy*Sorry hindi na kita nahintay kahapon kasi kailangan kong tapusin yung pinapagawa sa'kin ni Jello, yung friend namin. Kailangan kasi yun para sa project. Ite-text sana kita kaso wala ako ng number mo. Sorry talaga!...

God, help me succeed... I need to study hard, please inspire me...
God.. Oh God... I Love You!...

Tuesday, August 24, 2004
NONSENSE!...

I am victorious!.
I finished my theology Summary!...
Whew!... Kahit na masakit na likod ko, okay lang.. hehehe..

Anyway, I worked at the Org room today.
I don't know why, but I find it really fun working.
Feeling ko opisina ko yun.. wehehehehe! Kapal! hindi ka nga officer eh!...

Kuya Mel will be home on September 3.
I also want to go home again.
I miss my family so much...

Oh my God!
RC quiz tomorrow.
I REALLY HAVE TO REVIEW!
I rememeber...
Yah.. I have to go now.

Am I non-sense or what?
^_^

God.. I Love You... Please help me...

Sunday, August 22, 2004
THANKS...

I have to finish Theology summary today.
Jello has all the right to get mad at me again when I don't finish it today.

Kuya Mel and I attended the mass this morning.
I am HOLY again.. Hahahaha...

Thanks to jose and kate dear for saying tha' I am beautiful..
Well, can't blame 'em.. They are Honest.. hahahaha..

Eliza, yup. we saw fpa.. haha.. he's oozingly CUTE!...
Makalaglag panty and boxers.. wahahahaha!...
Wish you were there. Cute the car.. Shining Shimmering Shoo-shoo shblacksh...
Plano panga sana naming kunin yung plate number, kaso nakakahiya, nakaramdam na kasi.. wehehehe..
Don't worry, I'm sure, we'll see him again, but this time, with you and him and love... hahaha..

I'm glad me and my friends are a*okay now...

I remember kate's mom said. [accdg to kate]
Don't stick to your high school memories dear,
Bond with your college buddies, because when you live separate lives,
Your College friends would matter more than those in High School...

FYI

I Love you guyz...
More than you ever know it.
I may be this cruel and bad.
Or an antagonist that brings you sadness.
I may be someone not worth loving, or talking to at times,
Or an irresponsible thing for you...
Take hold..
The thing you're referring to LOVES you...

It's mushy and corny... [yucky-doodle-doo thing]


Katrina de Jesus

Jeanesse Nerizza Zabala

Kathryn Louie Cruz

Eliza Andrea Flores

Loredi Mae Romua

Ma. Anjelyn Jocson

Donna Marie Inciong

MY COLLEGE BARKADA...




I'll be elaving on October. Right after the finals...
I miss my family so much...

God.. Thanks...

FEELING GOOD...

First, I am really Happy.
Nagka-ayos na kami ni Rhyn.
Friendship saved. Bonds got stronger.

Well, mall hopping today.
Went to galle then Megamall then North Edsa.
Hahaha...
Finally, I get to gimik with Hiro, Fatima and Kris.
Leonard and Denny tagged along.

As usual.
"Myrrh, Ang taba mo! ang itim mo pa!...'
Again.. Yah.. It's true.
I am FAT... and BLACK...
hahahaha...

We watched 'Dead People'
[Super Corny nagsayang lang ako ng oras]
Also watched 'Bangkok Haunted'
[Not so scray. But worth than the first]

I'm here right now in the annex bldg. of SM North.
Beside me's Hiro.
I miss Jared. and the rest.
I miss High School.

I miss my family.
I hope i could get home on the 1st week of september.
My sister's birthday of the 4th.
I really wish.
But I need to study.
Got a dream to work on to.

God... Maidez! Need Help!...

Wednesday, August 18, 2004
MISERABLY MISERABLE...

I don't care if people hate me.
But if my friends do, It matters.

Asar si Jello sa'kin...
Dahil daw sobrang haba nung pinass kong summary.
Tapos kinuha ko lang daw sa bible in toto.
Tsaka nung tinext ko daw siya kagabi, sinabi ko daw na hindi na nga ako nagblog para lang makapag-research.

I did send her a message trying to say that I wasn't able to have a blog entry because I woked for the research. I mean, I value the research so much than my chance to do an entry. I didn't mean to hurt her. I just said the truth.

But Jello and I were still talking with each this the day.
I hope she knows how to understand.

So much for Jello...

The "talk-to-the-hand" thing started to ruin my day.
I know her nature causes her to be like that.
She always does that.
But I get hurt.

My left hand's burned.
No one should make fun of it.
What if this happens to them?
What would they feel?

Itatakwil pa daw ako bilang kaibigan dahil sa kamay ko...!
It's a joke.
But it's a follow-up.
There are things that we should not make fun of.
Because we tend to hurt others, unknowingly.
Baradong-barado ako kanina.

I know I said something to get even with Katrina.
She was asking if I already withdrew an amount.
Yes I did. Jokingly I said "oh, baka mawala na naman"
"ang alin?". "Yung pera ko.. Ikaw kasi eh"."Kailangan mo pa bang ulit ulitin yan? Gusto mo ako pa tong magbayad eh!".

Whether she likes it or not, a part of my being so 'a-Liar to my family' goes to her. Knowing that everything would be alright, I had to lend my money. I know I shouldn't have tried to help. But another friend needs it.

I am not blaming her for all.
Nor blame Kate.
I blame no one but myself.

I know I am feeling the right way.
I am not suffering from paranoia.
I am just affected in the negative way.
I also get hurt FYI.

Even though my thoughts had to say NO,
I still had the good attitude of being understanding.
I send SMS to Katrina and Eliza and Jeanesse.
But for crying out loud, do they have fingers for texting?
Or at least the feelings to be affected?

Wala ba silang load?
It makes me miserable.

Tomorrow, I shall see what kinds of friends are they.

Or.. I shall see if they are FRIENDS...

x's:

I never thought of backfighting kate.
I understand her.
I don't put issues behind her back.
I don't do things like that.

I still love my friends. I know they're new for me, but I already learned to value their company.

But if they don't like me for who I am, I can't do anything.
Alangan namang ipilit ko'ng sarili ko...

I received VERY painful text messages just a while back.
I don't do things that would hurt others. Especially my friends.
I called Kate just this moment.
I explained.
I hope she understood.
Though I cried heavily, It helped me bring out my emotions.
Pati tuloy si Ate Agnes nag-alala. Akala may ka-chat akong pangit kaya humahagulgol ako.

Crying won't do me anything.
I only cry when I'm in pain.
I am in pain.
...Stupid tears still flowing

I wish they've hurt me physically.
Better than the one's I'm into right now.

Still waiting for tomorrow...

God... I know you undertand me...

Tuesday, August 17, 2004
SKIP THIS...

First my friendster account has been altered.
By a hell-fucker person that I really curse.

Then I have srill no allowance on hand.
Achie cannot send me money because it's off for the banks in our place.
Kasi City fiesta...

Nervous for Rizal Course.
My turn to report tomorrow.

Cramming for Theology.
Not-so-good project to submit.
My research and reflection paper is a pain.

^^^^^^^^

I want to skip this day.
When could I have no-hassle days?
I wish I could have at least one.

^^^^^^^^

I really miss my family.
Achy Mei's gonna have a 'sleepover' with baby jarah in our house for 4 days.
Achy Ning's still waiting for the damn yaya edna to come for baby lian.
Mama and Papa's working on the newly acquired land in Cataggamman.
Shobe's got new stories to tell.
Shoti John John's got so many queries I have to turn to.
Jedje's got a new band.
Manung No's got his business working good.

Even if I am not there to spend time with them.
Even if I missed the Printing Press' 4th yearanniversary.
Even if I have no allowance for the week.

I Love them... I really do...

^^^^^^^^

No Lovelife detected.
No Prince to kiss.
No Fairy tales to dream of.
No Fancy lines to say.
No Sweet moments to ponder on.

Will someone bring me love...
Here I go again!...

^^^^^^^^

Wish RC would be good tomorrow.
Wish I finish my reflection paper today.
Wish I'm with my family.
Wish I'd have my prince.

God... I Know you know...

Monday, August 16, 2004
SOCIAL LIFE:OFF LIMITS

WOrked with the Pre-COm officers today.
Tired and exhausted.
Nervous about English tomorrow.
Matias has again, something against me.
Report on Tuesday in R.C.
Reflection paper in Theology.

The 'school pressure' makes me lose my sanity!...

^^^^^^^^

No Lovelife yet.
Have to concentrate on studies.
No allowance for the week.
No special happenings to attend to.
No guys interested.
No social life to turn to.

^^^^^^^^

In the meantime, I want you to see my SEX APPEAL LEVEL...



What can I say?!.. That's me!.. hahahaha.. ;)

^^^^^^^^

I miss my family so much.
Anniversary of our Press today.
Threw a party without me.
Live bands featuring my brothers.
Lots'a foods I'm sure.
Tuguegarao's fiesta tomorrow.
Wish I could be there...

^^^^^^^^

God... Help me...

Sunday, August 15, 2004
BORED FOR LOVE...

Today's nothing but BOREDOM...

Spent the whole afternoon alone in my apartment.
For the apparent reason that Kuya Mel paid a visit to his family in Balintawak.
Its A*Okay...
Got the chance to tidy up my messy closet.

Saw many cuties today.
Saw patrick [the ooh so-tall and handsome UAAP player]
The 'the' guy [skinhead-twinkling braces sophie]
And many more... which I am incapable of enumerating because frankly speaking, I DON'T KNOW their names. I just know them by their 'makalaglag panty-and-brief' looks.. hahahaha!... ;)

Finally met Jose.
Technically we met before, but haven't had the chance to chat.

I miss my family so much, yah... already.

Got so many problems that I need to formulate countless solutions.
-Low marks for the preliminary exams
-My report for R.C. [need to impress Prof. Raquepo]
-My phone is handicapped! hehehehe...
-No Allowance this week.

Oh! I wish I could survive.

Still looking for 'MR.RIGHT'...
[Myrrh, you just have to wait..]

That's my story for today.
Boring, but I still love my life. ;)

God knows why.

x's:

Got the lyrics of MY SONG...
[ito yung pinapakanta ko kay Eliza.. naalala ko'na]

Never Gonna Let You Go
By: Faith Evans

If I had one wish, boy
I'd wish you next to me
and it could be in summer, fall or spring, boy
'cause you make my heart sing
I wanna give my heart, my soul, my love to you
oh baby, oh baby
'cause every day I'm not with you
I'm missing you like crazy
I need for you to...

(Chorus)
I need for you to love me, hold me, touch me
down deep in my soul, and never let it go
at the love we share, no one compares to you
I'll never let you go 'cause I really love you so
oh, I...
I'll never let you go, oh no

If you must know the truth, boy
I'm nothing without you
now I know what people mean, boy
when it's too good to be true
because you bring me joy, good love,
good times, such happiness
oh baby, oh baby
and every day I think the lord for you,
I feel so blessed
that's why I need for you to...

(chorus)
I need for you to love me, hold me, touch me
down deep in my soul, and never let it go
of the love we share, no one compares to you
I'll never let you go 'cause I really love you so
oh I...
I'll never let you go, oh no

If you only knew
what you really do
ain't never had no one that does it quite like you
you could spend half a lifetime
trying to find one like you
that's why I am so glad I found you
I wish a upon a star, it came true
darling, I just need for you to...

(chorus)
I need for you to love me, hold me, touch me
down deep in my soul, and never let it go
of the love we share, no one compares to you
I'll never let you go 'cause I really love you so
oh I...
I'll never let you go, oh no.

xoxoxoxo

Saturday, August 14, 2004
YOU WISH!...

Watched "A Cinderella Story" today.
Jeza,Kate,Eliza,Rhyn,Jello and I had a good time.
Jello had to go early because her mom asked her to run an errand.
Kuya James and Rovic tagged along.



It was a cry-time movie.
Especially when Sam [the modern-day cinderella] had her life meet a drag.
But as usual, Princeton guy, his prince comes to the rescue.

It makes me lonely.
When could I possibly have my prince to save me?
Or the better question is, would I have one?

Can't blame the movie.
Can't blame my gender.
Can't blame my life.

I feel bad because I have to go this way.



I hope I could find him.
Yeah.

[You wish myrrh, You wish!!.]

God. Oh God.

Friday, August 13, 2004
I NEED TO...

Hit again today.
Can't help.
Basta 'pag nasa C.I. na, yun na.

Guilt.
Nothing but Guilt.

Worked at the Org Room today.
Yah. sakit nga ng mga kamay ko.

Class 1Iam...

The best class ever.. hehehehe... next to 4Rizal..



Preliminary exams results seems to be tormenting my mind.
NATSCI*61% Total Average.
Though Mrs.Santos already made many considerations, I still have a flat 5.

RC*73% Total Average.
If it weren't for Mrs.Raquepo's consideration, It would be two 5 flats for this day.

SHIT!

Asshole for Biology
Jerk for Rizal Course.

I need to study.
Really, I do.

I miss my family.
Always...

Study, STudy, Study..

Oh good Lord! Help...

Thursday, August 12, 2004
WORRIED...

Just came from P.E. class.
The first time I enjoyed it.
Made friends with others so quickly.

Kate and Ryn went to the movies.
Watching Ella ENchanted without me.
They forced me to get absent, but I refused.
Can't spare my P.E. time just for a movie.
Even if I can have make-up classes.
I'm saving it for something.
Can't blame my 2 friends if they can't wait for me.
Vacant time for them is wednesdays. during my p.e. class.

anyways, prelim grades suck!...
PGC*61/100.. passing's 70
FIL*76/100.. passing's 70
ENG*63/100.. passing's 70
MATH*37/45.. passing's 22 [cs 77.9] whew!...

gosh. I'm missing Lori.
she left for the states last sunday.
can't help but really miss this girl.

***Lori, dear friend, mizyah..

Miss my family so much...

I hope prelim results for tomorro would be fine.
At least, passing. [SHyet! Bio pa pala!]

God, Help.. Please...

Wednesday, August 11, 2004
HAPPY AND GAY...

Technically, I am now alone.
751 Extremadura Street, Sampaloc Manila.
This address holds only one individual who's gay and can't do anything.

I am Gay.
Prejudice seems nothing but too much pain.

I'm in pain.
Burned my left hand hours ago.
Trying to cook myself scallops, that I wish I could.

I am clumsy, and Gay.

Coco read my previous blog.
Yeah, it is really a big shame.
But it is true.

I am Clumsy and Gay, But I am a true person.

My left hand speaks of nothing but pain.
Now I feel its importance.
It is really hard to press keys here when you only use your right hand.

It is hard.
I'm in pain.
Both in and out.

I am Gay, I am Clumsy, I cause nothing but Pain, but I am True to everyone.

Coco*Sorry if I caused you so much hatred and shame. I know you hate it. I know you hate me. But you would always be keeping me inspired even you hate me. I know who I am. And I know what my feelings say. All I want to do now is to say my many Thanks to you. You may or may not be reading this, but God knows who are you to me.

I miss my family.
I Love my Family.
I miss my UST barkada.
I Love my 7 friends.
I miss my USL barkada.
I Love all my Friends.
I miss happiness.
I Love being happy. Who wouldn't be?

I'm gonna look for it.

A clumsy, pain-causing, but truthful, left-hand-burned Gay would be trying to look for happiness.

I Love God because he knows everything.

I Love You. I know you know.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004
NOTHING BUT PAIN...

7:15 is around 7 hours from now.
In Seven hours, I would again be alone.

Right now, I'm feeling distressed.
Nothing to think about except what would happen tomorrow.

Right now I'm in Tuguegarao.
I miss my family again.
How much more if I'm already in Manila.

I'm gonna leap into the High Deck Executive Bus.
One of the expensive classes.
But It does not matter.
Kahit regular non-aircon mopa'ko ilagay, okay lang.
Basta hindi ko maramdaman 'tong nararamdaman ko ngayon.

I'm gonna be leaving.
But it feels like I'm the one being left.

Self Pity?
Stubbornness?
or just
True to myself?

I am TRUE to myself.

I Love My Family.
I'm ready to loose everything,
except my Family.

I'm ready to give up everything,
As long as my family is still alive with me.

I can't Live without them.

It's corny, But it's True.

Sunday, August 08, 2004
ENJOYING...

I'm actually sitting with my friends.
| Vanj | Me | Karina | Nancy

It feels so good.
I am really happy.

Just came from the concert at the ermita.
Saw my old fellows in Saint Paul University.
Saw Ms. Eloisa awhile ago.
The hellfucker-nonsense marc castillo.
Ms. Mercy, my 1st grade english teacher.
Luigi, Milky and Aye.

And many other people who I first met back when I was in frade school.

It feels amazing.
The people.
The sounds.
The ambiance.
DOn't mention the dialect. hahaha.

We're here at the flavors.
New net cafe near spu.
Not many cuties, but I love it.
Because I'm with my friends...

God.. Thanks.. I Love You...

Saturday, August 07, 2004
I AM HOME...

I am home.
Literally and Figuratively,
I am.

Papa fetched me this morning.
Surprised, he brought the company truck.
Pano ba naman kasi, sabi ko, marami akong karga.. hehehe
Achy and Lianne were the first people I saw waiting for me at the porch.
Then Shobe and Shoti John John, getting ready for school.
At last, I saw mama, from whom I felt the warm kiss.
Manang Edna was washing the dishes.
Manang Andeng fixed breakfast.
Manung Juaning sipping his coffee.
And Our house... That I missed so much.

I am home.
And It feels good.
It feels good to be home.
It feels good to be home.
It feels good to be home.

There ain't no place like home.

Haaaay!... The couch feels no less than the lazy times I run my fingers on this keyboard and watch the net come across everywhere I want to surf... Got manang andeng's hot cocoa beside me... New chalk! magazine... New mouse, it's colored!... New keyboard and new cpu case... Papa surely prepared the PC for me...

It's surprising... beguiling...
And I Love it...

Being home is beguiling.
And I Love it.

the close-to-boiling rays of the sun.
The 'promdi' smoke from the tricycles,
Mama's office got a renovation.
New facade and newly painted.

It seems new.
But it's like the old days.
But I Love it...

Because I am home...

I may be far away from my friends,
far from the big shopping malls,
the noisy but challenging streets and avenues,
the much-pain cabs...

But I'm sure,
I am still happy...

Though I miss my UST Barkada
and my USL Barkada...
I can handle this...
I will...

All I want to think now is that I am happy.
Because I am home.
And I know my dear friends will feel the same.
because they Love me, and I Love them.

God. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You...

Thursday, August 05, 2004
LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH...

Hehehe... Quite happy today.

Confident for math.
More confident for Filipino.

Hehehehe...
Can't do anything but laugh...
Sounds like a true stain of content.

I hope I would pass the Prelims.
I hope I can...
Because I MUST...

Well, what can I say?!...
I'm gonna come home tomorrow!

I miss my family more than anyone else...

Here right now sa Excel.
Ate Nori, Kuya James, Kuya Lee and Kate are upstairs...
Yah!... Counterstrike!...

[ndi mo sila kilala?!.. o heto.. sandali lang]

'TE NORI -->


KUYA JAMES -->


'TE KATE ;-b -->


KUYA LEE -->


Buti pa si JC.. katabi ko ngayon!.. hehehe... bait noh!...

Haaaaay!
Rc and Ns Tomorrow!..
The worst subjects I ever had...
Next to Calculus back in 4th year.. hehehe...

LaughLaughLaugh...

God.. Thanks! I Love You...

Tuesday, August 03, 2004
ECSTATIC...

Wait.. Here's a quick blog.
Gotta do so many things.
Besideds, my life's at stake for MATH 101 tomorrow!.
Harsh!...

ANyway, saw MIGZ kanina..
Hehe.. SIguro kung hindi yun bf ni reena magiging crush ko yun.
Kaso he's taken, by a new-found friend pa!.. gOsh...

[*migraine..aray!*]

Haaaay!... Inspired for YU today...
Had to run after TONG!.. Punyeta! Ang gwapo niya!...
Ooops... Teka, Lumalandi kana naman.. hehehehe...

Review.. Review... Review...
teka, hindi naman nirereview ang Math huh?!

Ah basta... Ako na'ng bahala!

Yessss!!! Ang Thursday ay malapit nah!...
Makakauwi na'ko sa Tuguegarao!!! www.YAHOO.com! hehehe.. corny!...

miz my family nah!
miz olso my fwenz..
pic ng hyskul fwenz ko..

  
  


Lord.. Thanks...

QUICK! QUICK!

Hahaha... I'm busted!
I should be reviewing now!
Pero ano'ng ginagawa ko?
Lumalandi na naman!...

I wanna share yung pic ng aking class inspiration...
Chinese Name: YU HUN HUI
Filipino Name: BRYAN YU

I LOVE YU!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!...

  



Hahahaha!! Ang Landi-landi mo Myrrh!...

God! oh God!... I Love Yu.. You pala...

I feel much better now...

Confident about my English test today.
Not so lux with my PGC.

SO this is College.

First time,First Year, First Sem, First Exam.

Haven't thought it would be this hard.
Don't mention the melancholy brought by it.

I am not alone.
I always put in mind that I am not.

Friends?!
Got plenty of them.
Sila nalang yung nakakapagparmdam sa'kin na hindi ako mag-isa.

How I wished I decided not to pursue my longing for UST.
Sana nag-nursing nalang ako sa Saint Paul.
But fro sure, I'll not do well there.
Hindi ko naman kasi pinangarap magsuot ng puti!

I really miss my family.
Thursday is fast approaching.
At long last, I would again feel my comfortable bed.
The mouth-watering lunch made by manag Andeng.
The sumptuous dinner cooked by Mama.
My two cute nieces Lianne and Jarah.
John-John's kakulitan.
Papa's talks with us.
Jedje's telebabads.
Ahya No's cruelty.
Shobe's stories.
Achy Mei's funny moments.
Achy Ning's plans.
Manang Edna's way of ironing my clothes.
Manang Aida's morning-smile that greets me every morning.
The requests I've made for Manung Juaning to do.
"Manung Juaning, ipagpitas mo naman ng mangga at santol"

Sa Wakas, mababalikan kona rin ito!
Even for a short span of time of 3 days,
I feel blessed.

Now I'm not alone.

Thanks to the people who make me feel important...

My UST Barkada...
Kate*For always being there. kahit kailan. Kahit pa'no.
Jello*Whose birthday will be tomorrow. Happy Birthday Gurl!
Ryn*For making me feel accompanied.
Liz*For making me in love because you are in love.
Lori*Who would be leaving for NY soon I miss you.
Jeza*For making ma laugh everytime.
Doinx*For making me feel lika a fashion model.

Friends...
Jose*For giving me advices.
Kuya Mac*For making me Real.
Ate Nori*Boss, thanks for keeping my battery going.
Kuya James*For the company.

Crushes...
Hun Hui*For making me inspired in class.
Loureck*For being you.
CoCo*For being so kind. Your one text message flattered me.

Inspiration...
To God... Thanks for giving me my life... I Love it... I Love You!...

Got a big day tomorrow.
Philosophy and Theology Test.
Gotta' review!...

I feel much better now...

Monday, August 02, 2004
SUPPOSED TO...

Too intelligent to review.
Too genius to study.
Too rich to carry books.
Too poised to read notes.

Too dumb to think like this.

I can't study. Nor review.
I've tried scanning my PGC and English books.
But hell yeah! Walang pumapasok sa utak ko!...

PRELIMS tomorrow.
Too many hopes to do.
Too many prayers to say.

AUGUST nah!...
I'm still alone.
I Miss my family.
I miss my friends.
I miss Tuguegarao.

Lord, I Love You.

Sunday, August 01, 2004
SOLO, ONLY, ONE, ALONE...

No one to talk to.
Not even to tease or joke.
Nobody there to scold me.
Or just to cook dinner for me.

I am alone.

Literally and Figuratively.

I am.

Ask school?

It's unusual.
Woke up 6:30.
Missed my Philo subject.
Pissed off by Mrs. Santos.
Got sleepy because of Mr. Bernabe.
No Mrs. Raquepo today.

^^^^^^^^

Paid my tution.
Finally.
Next problem is,
REVIEW!... STUDY!...

I can't imagine forcing myself to revieww PGC from the introduction to Article III. Nor try to read Rizal from the introduction to its 15th chapter!. Oh!, I almost forgot... try to inculcate im my mind the complete sentence structure, meaning and gradual flow of the book in Biology [I don't even have a copy to review]...

^^^^^^^^

Achy called.
They started painting faces for Jarah's 1st birthday party.
I'm not thinking about the food nor the face paints.
I'm thinking about my family. I miss them. Painfully, I do.
I wish I am there. I wish I was there.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JARAH. TITO LOVES YOU...

^^^^^^^^

Stupid tears flowing... Good, nobody around to feel curious about me.
Ako lang ata tao dito sa Internet Shop.
Pati ba naman dito, mag-isa lang ako...

^^^^^^^^

God. I know my alone-ness is temporary.
Please take good care of my family and friends.