Sunday, October 31, 2004
EXCLUSIVELY FOR...

My dearest brother who is celebrating his Eight Birthday today.
Sweet, Intelligent, Kind... Truly the best little brother ever..

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY RONNEL JOHN! I LOVE YOU!...

Saturday, October 30, 2004
ME AND MY PROMDI LIFE

NEWS BREAK
I never thought that I would be really left behind when 'house news' matters.
First our store at the college avenue closed.
Then our dog echo, a pure breed pomeranian died weeks ago.
What more?! I wish the next 'house reports' I hear would be happy and gay..

SOCIAL LIFE
Last 27th, Me and my classmates back in high school had a slumber party at nancy's house.
Knowing that my male and some of my femme classmates are true-blooded tanggeros and tanggeras, I had no choice but to join the drinking party.
Yeah, Naturally, the eeky-yucky continents on my body sprout again.
Leaving just me and portions of my body covered with these gross-looking allergic reaction.

BUSY-NESS
Why am I blogging today?
Nakatakas lang ako sandali.
I have been tasked to sponsor my youngest brother's birthday gift.
His 8th birthday will be tomorrow, but it would be celebrated at about 12:00 today.
That means, I already have to run. lol..

MY FIRST-EVER BREAKUP
I broke up with my best friend.
Yeah, you read it right. I broke up with my BEST friend. [not BOY, though..lol]
He seems so different.[in the negative way].. but he's still sweet though..
Dave, thanks for the friendship.. I'll forever treaure it.. But we don't deserve both.. That's it.

God, Thanks... Mwah

Monday, October 25, 2004
FASTBREAK

First, I already finsihed enrolling myself.
Very excited for English and Math this second sem.
Yah, you read it right. MATH.
I don't know why am I looking forward to tasting its cruelty, but I just feel excited to take Math, again.

Just came home from Glorietta.
We watched Shark Tale.



My friendships Kate and Rhyn, together with Ian [kate's ex] and Michael [Kate's ex's friend] had gone hilarious with the movie. It's nice. Actually, it's superb.

In about an hour and thirty minutes I would again be leaving Manila for Tuguegarao
Then I wake up tomorrow as usual, Nasa Tugue na ako!.. Really excited... Can't wait to be with my family again.. Lavyah guyz!...

Friendships, hear ye, hear ye...
*Kate..Hey gurl, sagutin na kasi ang Ian!.. hahaha... mwah.. lveya..
*Rhyn..Friendship! salamat sa paghatid kanina.. Mwah.. *hug*.. loveyah
*Eliza..Yung VTR ha.. hehehehe.. mwah..labshu
*Jello..Haven't been with your company lately.. Mizyah gurl!. *hug*..labsha
*Jeza..You are so funny! funny! funny.. Mwah!..lavyah
*Lori..You told me I'm gonna be ur bestfriend lagi.. hahaha!.. Mizyah.. Lavyah!..
*Doinx..Ingat sa Batangas.. Mwah!.. Lavyah..
*Jose..Sige lang ng sige.. You can do it.. Don't let the Mothafucka [yikes!] hit you!.. haha.. Missyah.. lavyah..

As for me, wish me luck nalang sa Lovelife and the iminent second semester.
Pray for my safety tonight.
Sana the rest of all our sembreaks will be super fun..

Mwah Yah All!..

God, Thanks So Much!...

Sunday, October 24, 2004
SOLO-FLIGHT FUN

I never thought being alone is this fun.
Solo, I raided robinson's ermita and watched WHITE CHICKS.
I went nuts not because of the 6 servings of Gop Nuts Donuts I ate during the show.
But the whole of its story is really hilarious.


Then I shopped for gifts for my youngest brother who would be turning 8 on sunday next week.
I bought him a kaleidoscope-making kit and stocks of coloring and activity books.
I want educational toys for him. I wish I could buy him the vtech laptop at the toys section, but it costs around 4K.. hahaha.. Tight budget.
I know I'm a really lousy kuya [or ate] for gifts.
But I eternally believe that It's the Thought that counts :D

Thereafter, I came across Madame Auring's seemingli chipipay stall.
I came near it and found a cutie holding the obscene-thinking manghuhula.
For unkown reasons, I tried the fortune-telling-chuva myself.
Here it goes:

Let: M.M. be Manyakis na Manghuhula

MM:Hello! Anong Pangalan mo?
Me:Francis, po.
MM:Ilang questions ang itatanong mo?
Me:Two questions lang po.
MM:Gawin mo nang apat.
Me:Hindi, two questions lang po. *grins*
MM:Okay, akin na yung payment
Me:*hands the 50-peso bill*
MM:Bunot ka ng 10 cards, ano ba ang tanong mo.
Me:Kelan po ako magkakalovelife? [oh! diba? yun ang inuna!.. Ang kati mo talaga myrrh!]
MM:Next year, makikilala mo na ang lalakeng tunya na magmamahal sa'yo.
Me:Stir! Talaga?!
MM:Next question?
Me:Ano po ba ang image na pinanghahawakan ng future ko?
MM:Magiging mayaman ka, Mayaman na mayaman...
Me:*STIR NA TALAGA TO!*

AMPUTA!... Makarma ka sana Madame Auring... Sana maubusan ka ng asim.. Hehehehe...

Enrolment na bukas.
I'll meet my friends again. Then gimik.
Tomorrow night, aalis na naman ako for Tuguegarao.
Really excited. [family, miss you, love you all]

God, Thanks.. *kindat*

Saturday, October 23, 2004
DEPRESSION IN PROGRESS

THE LIGHT AND FUNNY SIDE...

Sinong mas jojologs pa sa'kin?
Okay, Okay! Nagpunta akong ABS-CBN kanina.
Pero hindi yung tipong sa audience entrance pumasok!
Sa VIP ako napunta! hahaha..

My Brother-in-law promised me a tour.
So we boarded a cab for ABS.
I had a visitor's pass.
We roamed around the different studios and ended up watching MTB at the gallery.

Bago pa kami umakyat, nasalubong ko ang sangkaterbang mga artistang gabundok ang make-up.
Si Melissa, AJ, Ahron, JE, Sarah [na hindi naman sikat], Edu, AiAi, John Lloyd at marami pang iba. O diba?! Mabuhay ang mga Jologs!...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

SERIOUS NA'TO...

If not everyone, all those who know me are aware that I have been dreaming to death for stardom. I always wished for a huge billboard with my face and a product endorsement. I have prayed so hard and even reached the point of asking Santa Claus to give me a chance to be inside the television. I even watch out for the shooting stars in heaven for I could wish upon my seemingly impossible dream. I'm getting tired. I wish someone could tell me how is it to be one.

I have grown up with illusions of being a dramatic actor, a stand up comedian, and a promising movie star. Much to my anticipation that I could be one of them in the future, I never thought it would be this way. This Hard, Hopeless.

So depression starts to linger in me again. For the most time I have started this blog, I keep on mentioning how lovelife becomes no less than a bitter-fly on me. Now I add another course to the inevitable 'out-of-reach' status of my dreams and aspirations.

I HAVE NO LOVELIFE, YET NO CHANCE TO BE A STAR.

No man has ever tried to even show love for me. Not a single vtr offer has approached me. I am sick and tired of waiting. When I start to venture and go against all obstacles just to get what I aspire, I either end up putting things at halt or just lose the battle.

I know I dream to much. That my dreams are if not illusions, delusions for many.
I think too high. I am ambitious. I am exasperatingly unpredictable.

But I dream.
Wala lang ngang product as of now.

BUT I DREAM...

I wish someone could show me where my Mr.Right is.
Or could anybody contact a producer/talent scout to have me.

I BEG.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004
I'M BACK!

Last wednesday I was mugged.
To hell with the person who got my ever dearest wallet.
Galing duty free pa yun!
It had my school ID and my ATM card. f*ck!

I got home restless at about 5 Am.
The bus trip was late, as usual.
I left Tuguegarao yesterday at 7:30.
Sad to miss my mom's birthday.

A dedicated wife, a loving mother, a helpful sister, a reliable friend and a devoted worker...
Happy 53rd Birthday Mama! I wish you Longer life, Safety, Good health and Happiness... I Love You Very Much...

I finally got my clearance.
My grades were all jumping PASSED.
Yeah, I Love this feeling.

After getting my ass here and there to finish the requirements for a new ID, Kate, Rhyn, Bryan, Jeck, Erby and I had lunch at Rob. Place.
We were suppose to watch a movie but we resorted to having an alternative na lang.

Brian and I talked, for a while I found out that he has already been brought to Tuguegarao. [bagong topic na pinag-usapan]

Rhyn had to leave early, so we dropped her at Saint Scho to where her friends stay.
Brian had to go so we raided Binondo and set him off.

Amp! We reached Manila City Jail sa isang iglap lang!.
For about half an hour, we stayed there kasi hindi namin alam kung pano makakalabas!

Anyhow, I'm glad that I explored the personalities of three new individuals.
It was happy. thrilling. enjoy! F_U_N...

Ka-K.P. Talaga! :D

I tried a new QUiz.. hehe..

You have acquired the wisdom to live the gay life. You enjoy the company of your gay friends. And even though at times, they drive you crazy, your friends are reason enough to keep you going in the game of life and of love.

You are: The Broken Hearts Club

Take The Quiz

Which Gay Movie Would You Star In?

Every few years a seminal comedy about a group of friends comes along that captures the exact spirit of the times: Diner, The Big Chill and Swingers to name a few. This year the tradition continues with first time director Greg Berlanti's "The Broken Hearts Club," a slice-of life comedy with a twist - the guys are gay.

For promising West Hollywood photographer Dennis (Timothy Olyphant), his friends - exasperating as they are - are the ones who make single gay life bearable. He loves them but they drive him crazy. He hates them yet can't imagine life without them. He can't find a moment's peace from them - but they're always there when he needs them. As he prepares to celebrate his 28th birthday Dennis laments, "I can't decide if my friends are the best or worst thing that ever happened to me."

The Broken Hearts Club is a fresh, funny, real story about a group of gay men in Hollywood, their lovers and friends, and the often hilarious, occasionally poignant space in between-that is if they can get any space at all. According to writer/director Greg Berlanti, it's also about something everyone can relate to: "how screwy and dysfunctional friends can be, but also how wonderful."

Dennis' eclectic crew of pals is certainly living proof of Berlanti's statement: there's Benji (Zach Braff), the innocent youth with spiky hair and a penchant for gym bodies; Howie (Matt McGrath), the psychology grad student who thinks too much and lives too little and Cole (Dean Cain), the charismatic actor who accidentally steals everybody's guy. Rounding out the crew is Patrick (Ben Weber), the cynical quipster with a fragile heart, and Taylor (Billy Porter), the drama queen who until recently prided himself in his long-term relationship.

Providing sage advice-and, for several of the guys, steady work-is Jack (John Mahoney), beloved patriarch, softball coach and part-time drag performer whose restaurant is a social haven for the gang.

Into the mix steps Kevin (Andrew Keegan), Cole's latest abandoned conquest and a "newbie," a young man not quite out of the closet. Dennis takes it upon himself to show Kevin the ropes as a newly outed gay man.

With the notable exception of elder statesman Jack, their lives are in various states of disarray. Howie lacks the discipline to resist his sexy pot-smoking ex-boyfriend while Patrick's lesbian sister (Mary McCormack) has just solicited his sperm to father a child with her despotic girlfriend (Nia Long). Meanwhile, Benji can't introduce a new love interest to the group without somebody else moving in on him and Taylor gets bad news via phone from Hawaii-he's been dumped. Dennis simply worries he might never truly forge his own path or have a life outside this crazy, bickering bunch.

As they make their ways in the world with and without each other, they are suddenly faced with an unexpected tragedy. The group finds comfort the only way they ever have-together. "I can't remember when I first realized I was gay, only the first time I knew it was okay," says Kevin. "It was when I met these guys-my friends."

The directorial debut of Berlanti, who also wrote the screenplay, The Broken Hearts Club is produced by Mickey Liddell and Joseph Middleton. The creative team also includes co-producers Julie Plec and Sam Irvin, editor Todd Busch, line producer Connie Dolph and costume designer Mas Kondo.

Thursday, October 14, 2004
ENJOYING THE BREAK...

I'm still on day two of my school break bonanza.
Enjoying it. Really, I AM ENJOYING IT...

Yesterday, I was with my barkadas Karel and Jannah.
Karel was with me the whole morning.
Got surprisesd kasi 9am palang eh nasa bahay na siya. Sinundo ba naman ako?! LOL.
Boarding JoyJoy's transpo,we raided budyok's and had pansit for lunch [Joyjoy, Gladys, Moned, Karel, Jannah and I]. I miss pansit here. If sisig is Manila's favorite, it would exactly be pansit here!..

We had a hard time getting inside our former school but things became easier when our vice principal asked the security guard to let us in with the reason that the three of us are needed for the cheerdance rehearsals. Thank God Ms.Fe arrived!..

Everything was just the same except for many new faces seen.
I've seen my good friend during my freshy year in high school, Pregnant.
I never expected her to be like that. But she's my friend, so I should support her all the way.
I was to approach her but I thought for a second that this is not the right time to talk things with her.

Later that afternoon, Jake, my fashionista buddy, Moned, Lorraine, Marc and my 2 barkadas spent time in the guidance office spending truly-missed times chatting.

So they taught cheer-dance-steps :D
I was not in the mood to dance it all out kasi na-bad trip ako.
If not everyone, my ex-classmates and ex-teachers told nothing but the famous line: "MYRRH!!! ANG TABA MO NA, ANG ITIM MO PA!!..."
It hurts.. But reality does bite..
At the age of 16, I am a 146-lb gay with a no melanin impoverished look.
Bullsh*t!...

But everything turned out fine when again, i saw my best friend David.
Still cute. [read: he's 5-foot tall fair guy who always looks cute].
Hahaha.. I miss the good old times.
High School was really fun after all.

I am not allowed to stay out late today.
I guess my family missed me that much.. *giggles*
But I miss them too, that's why I'm gonna be a good boy today.. hehehe..

God, Thanks!!!.. Mwah..

Tuesday, October 12, 2004
GOODBYE, MANILA...

Four more hours before I leave Manila.
I'm really keyed up about being home again.
I have longed for this since August.
At long last, I'm coming home!!!

Had to shop today.
I discovered that most of my jeans don't fit on me anymore.
So I bought pairs of tops and bottoms just for me to wear while I'm still 'full-figured'.
For four months here in Manila, I gained a stunning wight of 11 lbs. Now I'm 146lbs!..

My itinerary:
*Spend time with my family at home.
*Go out with my high school barkada.
*Teach today's high school batch's cheerdancers yells and dance steps.
*Spend time with my family at home.
*Spend time with my family at home.
*Spend time with my family at home.
*Spend time with my family at home.
and...
*Spend time with my family at home.

I really miss my family. Now's the chance to spend really quality time with them.

Of course I'm gonna miss lots'a people here in Manila.
Especially my barkada:



*I'm really gonna miss you guyz, lavyah ol!!*

I thank God na makaka

Myrrh on 8:40 PM
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Saturday, October 09, 2004
COMEDY'S TOO EARLY...

Yeah, I know, it's late, and early at the same time.

The setting was this:
-Gay1:Punyeta! lumilindol [myrrh thinks that the gay's just trying to tease my 200-lb companion]
-Car:Umuuga-uga[Myrrh: Shit! lumilindol nga! hehehe :)]

I just came from klownz araneta with my friends fatima, marc tito and fatima's friend arnee.
I really had fun with the stand up comedians who were all gays.
Gladys was so funny. Can't help but laugh.

So I'm here in Fatima and Arnee's apartment somewhere in Katipunan.
I am tired, but still relinquishing the fun moments just awhile back.
I can't sleep without posting a new blog.
Too bad nobody had a camera phone. Huhu.. :(

First time to enter a comedy bar, and I love it.

Wednesday is just around the corner.
I can't wait to see my beloved family and friends na.

And oh, before I forget, I have to sleep pa pala.
And.. Figure out how to get home.. hehehe.. :)

God, I Love You...

x's:

Sabi nga ni kate... K.P....

Nake-KP to the max ako sa kanya... YUMMY!!! :)

Myrrh on 4:19 AM
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Thursday, October 07, 2004
FINISHING FINISHY-FINISH [napaka walang kwentang translation:hay salamat! tapos na ang first sem!]

ADIOS PRIMERA SEMESTRE
Eight ultra-hell subjects.
Four Exhausting days.
Eight Professors I got to mess with.
One Semester finished, done.
A hundred and twenty-two days of school and schoolwork's finally over.

One Happy but worried person. [?]
Happy=Of course, finished na the sem! [kolehiyala accent]
Worried=Baka maging irreg student ako.. wehehehe.. wag naman sana.. ;)

At long last, First Semester of my "First Year-First Time" College, has been ended this morning.
So the phenomenal 'SEMBREAK' I always hear from kolehiyala/lo's feels this way.

No more annoying Professors to deal with.
No hassle days of waking up early in the morning for school.
No more brain-wrecking examinations.
No more irky classmates to mind.

For 25 days, I will be free from schoolwork.
*Mangkukulam Laugh*

FRIENDSHIPS
Kate, Rhyn and I watched WIMBLEDON this afternoon.
Besides my eagerness to learn lawn tennis, I particularly fell in love with the story itself.

Peter Colt (Bettany) is an unlucky guy, scoring "love" both professionally and personally. Seeded near the bottom of the world tennis ranks, he manages to score a wild card, allowing him to play in the prestigious Wimbledon tournament. There, he meets and falls in love with American tennis star Lizzie Bradbury (Dunst). Fueled by a mixture of his newfound luck, love and on-court prowess, Peter works his way up the ranks of the tournament players and actually stands a chance of fulfilling his lifelong dream of winning the men's singles title - if his luck can just hold out.

It made me cry. I wish I could meet HIM as in 'right this moment.'
I am young, and I would meet him eventually.
I just don't have to look for him, nor wait.
It will come the least moment I expect it.
What the Hell?! When will that be?!

SIKKALUBBE NA NGANA [tr: I wanna go home!]
So I'd be home on wednesday this coming week.
Excitement drowns me. I really want to be with my family again. [lavyah pipol ;)]
I'm gonna miss my school, though. Not to mention my friends.


The break starts today, and I can't help but BE HAPPY.

Thank God I have finished it.
Sana lang hindi ako maging irreg next sem.. ;)

Myrrh on 5:34 PM
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Tuesday, October 05, 2004
LESSONS LEARNED ARE LESSONS GONE THROUGH

SCHOOL WORX

I made it halfway.
Finished hell nat sci and rc just an hour ago.
-->1/8 Sure for Natural Science
-->8/29 stanzas of Huling Paalam and a dramatically-created-pa-effect parting message

Had fil1 and algebra yesterday.
It has temporarily driven me nuts.

Eng101 and PGC tomorrow.
Philo1 and Theology on Thursday.
*inhale deeply* I still have to finish 4 subjects, or my college life wioll be rolling dead.

SCHOOL'S WRONG
Everyone seems to have mood swings.
Blockmates, Friends, People here and there.
I hope these people who hate me just tell me what's wrong.
It's really hard to figure out things that aren't meant to be thinking of.

SCHOOL'S PIG
I have this classmate who does nothing but to be a pain in the ass.
He keeps blabbering about him and his ex-girlfriend's broken relationship that points me out as the cause of such.
It really affects me the exasperating way.
It doen't only sadden me, It makes me wanna tell it straight to his, ah err.. it's face!!!

***BULLETIN POST:
I am supposed to review today for final exams. But there are things that are keeping me destructed that I really want to pour out here.First thing's first. I am not to blame for you and your ex-girlfriend's breakup. When you come to think of it, it's merely a text message, a humorously-created sms. And FYI, I didn't know, nor will I ever think, that you HAVE a girlfriend. It's just that I was trying to befriend you the Myrrh style.So that happened. She broke up with you. And you even said that she threw your phone out of the window. In the first place, if SHE really loves you, a mere text message coupled with a sincere explanation from you wouldn't make her feel that bad. It's not vague that SHE doesn't Love you. Knowing that she got easily distressed, everyone would conclude that SHE REALLY DOESN'T LOVE YOU.You even have the nerve to tell everyone that you had a girlfriend before. That you would have gone far if only I didn't enter the scene. Pig, I HAD AND HAVE NO INTENTIONS OF DESTROYING YOUR OR ANYONE'S RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE!!!Your attitudes exude hell. You can blame your ex, more so, blame YOURSELF!!!If she really loves you, and if there are no traces of brain damage on her, not a diminutive reason caused by a text message will put an end to your relationship.Who knows? You might have done something in the past that caused her to do that. Whatever it may be, it's none of my business.I want to stress it out.DON'T BLAME ME !!!Tatanga-tanga ka kasi eh!!!

_____________________

I still have reasons for being happy even though life here in manila is starting to be miserable on me.

.:.My Family.:. I'm gonna be home on the 10th. I am really excited because I would be with the people who I really really really love-My family.

.:.My Barkada.:. Of course when I get home my barkada here in Manila will have their breaks as well. So I'm gonna spend some quality time with them because for the 4 months I have not been with them regularly, at last I'm gonna be spending sweet company with them again.

.:.My UST Barkada.:. Gigimik ba tayo?! Sana naman, bago kami lumayas ni Jeza.

.:.PCS officers and staffers.:. Ate Nori told na gimik daw kami after finals. Hay nako! sana nga, kasi nga, di'ba? napurnada yung octoberfest?! hehehe...

_____________________

Even though problems come my way, I still have reasons-really big reasons to go on with life. And if for others, I am an ass-paining brat, Swerte nyo at nakilala nyo ako at kilala ko kayo, dahil mga sikat lang mga taong knows ko...

Sabi nga ni LeAnn Rimes,

OOOhhh.. Life goes on, and it's only gonna make me strong, it's a fact, once you get on board, say goodbye 'coz you can't go9 back... Oooh, It's a fight, and I really wana get it right, Where I'm at, It is my life before, I've got this feeling that I can't run back...

Hindi ko alam ang message nung kanta. Basta narinig at nabasa ko lang yung katagang LIFE GOES ON AND IT'S ONLY GONNA MAKE ME STRONG... yun lang.. wehehehehe...

_____________________

God, I Love You.

Myrrh on 5:10 PM
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Saturday, October 02, 2004
FEARING FINALS

Sanity has gradually been driven away.
The Melancholy inside slowly dissolves.
Enthusiasm starts to linger within me.
But Eagerness to finish it yields unsounded preferences.

I FEAR FINALS
I have one day before final examinations.
It's really driving me nuts!!!
Big problem: Nat Sci and Rizal's scheduled on tuesday.
To memorize huling paalam or to keep in mind the 14 chapters in biology?

I know I should have started days, or even weeks ago.
But things have been busy lately.
Not because I have been doing countless works.
But because I have been thinking how could I possibly make it.

I FEAR FINALS.
Who doesn't.

The Irregular Studenthood is slowly pictured in my mind.
Who wants it? No one!

Passing all my subjects would mean Nirvana on its peak.

I just wanna end this all up, party with my friends and go home in my province
BUT, it all happens AFTER and only AFTER the Final examinations.

Manic Monday will start at about 38 hours from now.
I wish I could make it 'til tiring thursday.

EVEN THOUGH I FEAR FINALS...
I even had the *buntong hininga* nerve to go home late last midnight.

My former mentors in my dear University back in high school together with this year's seniors had a field trip within the vicinity of manila, at Roxas Boulevard and the nearby places, to be exact. [makes me remember our's] Ma'am Ann B&B, Ma'am Liza, Sir Conde, Sir Boy, Ma'am Gia and the rest were all there. Even one of our publication advisers was there. She [ma'am leriza] asked us to write articles for our pub under the alumni section. Oh! di'ba? hehehe.

YES, I FEAR FINALS, BUT...
After it, when I *hopefully* pass all my subjects, everything would be a*okay.
Thinking that going home and being with my family and friends makes me go on, and on, and on... That's because I love them...

DON'T FEAR FINALS...
Because there are no problems BIGGER than GOD...
I LOVE YOU...

Myrrh on 5:27 PM
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