Thursday, October 27, 2005
BEACHIN' FRIENDSHIPS.


With the joy of having passing marks in school, May I also share one heck of an adventure with my friendships. From the penalized license of Jeanesse, the yummy palabok, halo-halo and fries of Razon’s courtesy of Paolo (jeck’s friend), the spice girls songs we enjoyed performing to the dismay of not checking in the beach we were supposed to stay, everything was complete fun and zesty.

An hour after reaching Manila, I immediately ran to meet my friendships for our out-of-town for the seemingly boring sem-break. We were set to be in White Rock in Zambales but because of some casualties, like lack of ‘the big’ budget, we resorted to being beach bitches in Arizona Beach, about a couple of kilometers away from the expensive hotel.

With the help of our knight-in-shining-armor for the day, Jerrick and his Revo, we reached Pampanga where we decided to drop by at Jeck’s really warm and not to mention, pretty sizzling friends’ place. After a breath-taking sight-seeing and a yummy merienda to match courtesy of Francis and Paolo [Jeck’s friends], we set off for our agenda.

On our way to Subic, where Jeza was the one responsible to stir the wheel, we had the nearly day-wrecking experience. The police had to give Jeza and Jeck a ticket for not wearing seatbelts and not stopping on the stop sign. Unarguably, the official had a poor sight or might as well be a complete moron, after spending nearly five hundred bucks for the penalty, the enjoyment still went on from Kate’s flicks, Eliza’s kakulitans to our mini-concert ala Spice Girls with Jeza and Jello at the back seat.

Like what I have said earlier, we were supposed to be at White Rock, but because of the really pricey rates, we decided to spend the day at a cheaper resort where the sight’s more or less similar. We had a semi-diminutive but nice room, a pool fifty steps away and near the beach, gray-sand seashore and the company of which we had fun, and the surprising part, a good deal courtesy of Jeza’s alindog powers got us 1,500 for all of these. We had super savings that treat us to have dinner pa at KFC at the expressway.

We had mini photoshoots courtesy of Jeza and Kate’s cams, we also had the mini mtv to the tune of ‘instant ayos’ [eeek] with my camcorder on. It rained chips and sodas. We pigged out with them them, swam ourselves to either the sea or the pool and really had the fun A plus.

I’m genuinely happy for the enjoyment we shared. Jerrick Christopher, Kathryn Louie, Eliza Andrea, Maria Anjelyn, Jeanesse Nerizza and Romir Francis. Too bad Donna Marie’s nowhere to be found and Katrina’s doctor said that it’ll be a threat if she comes with us; we still share the happiness with them friendships.

These are the people who I have started to share my life with. I will be forever thankful for ‘em comrades-slash-compañeras.

Love you, friendships.





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Myrrh on 8:31 PM
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Monday, October 24, 2005
this is the day...

...I PASSED!
woohooooo!
God, thanks!...

but happiness doesn't really pour on me now. Some of my friendships had the misfortune of not having 'the nice' professor. I feel for you, friendships.


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Myrrh on 5:25 PM
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Thursday, October 20, 2005
Hot Moma... :)

For a woman who fights for her right...
For teacher who educates what is right...
For a friend who'll be ready to hug you tight...
For a mother who I'll never leave out of sight...
~a thirty-second one stanza poem, Myrrh Lao To

Cheers to many more birthdays!
Happy Birthday Mama! You're the reason why I still breathe... I Love You.

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1. Distrurbing Mom at her office.
2. Fooling around with matching head bands! ;)
3. Out-of-town...
4. Mom and Dad at the Our Lady of Piat...
5. My mom last Christmas. i Love You, Ma.


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Myrrh on 7:49 AM
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Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Ten Second Heaven...

Song: The rainbow Connection - The Carpenters

Myrrh: hello, friendship!
Him: Myrrh!
Myrrh: Sino 'to? ba't ang ingay ng background?
Him: Si Kean kasi tumutugtog... Ako? Yung pinaka-guwapo sa callalily...
Myrrh: hi Alden! *chuckles*
Him: Myrrh! Nabubuko ka! *laughs*
Myrrh: haha, joke lang! hey Aaron! kamusta ka naman?
Him: Okay lang, nandito kami sa bhaya nila kate.
Myrrh: Ah, okie, miss kona kayo bigla...
Him: Oo nga, miss kana rin namen...
Myrrh: Talaga? *laughs*
Him: Oo noh! Oi uwian mo'ko ng gatas ng kalabaw ah?
Myrrh; Hahaha! yung gatas talaga ng kalabaw - yung naiinom! Sure!
Him: Wow! Yes! Pero wala ba yung nauulam din! sarap nun!
Myrrh: Haha! Patawa ka talaga!
Him: Hindi nga seryoso
Myrrh: Basta, shempre dadalhan ko kayo!
Him: Nice!... Wait lang, $#*)^&$#@!&^* *nawal bigla*
Myrrh: helloooo?!
Kate: hey friendship!
Myrrh: Friendship! you made my day! hahaha...
Kate: Friendship, call later gagawa lang kami ng kanta...
Myrrh: Oh, okay.

THE END.

I was forseeing a vacation here in the province without blogging. But thanks to Smart WiFi, the faster version of God knows what we had before, here I am - spreading the kilig news. I dunno how to start forgetting him, sabi nga ng friendship ko I should begin by taking it really slow, sabi naman ng iba basta mahal ko, 'wag ko daw itago. Myrrh says: "'pag pumasa ako sa lahat ng subjects ko, makakalimutan kona siya. ;)"

I'll see you guys later.
Please pray for me before I get insane.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions but only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some
Choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.

Someday we'll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Who said that ev'ry wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that,
And someone believed it
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing,
And what do we think we might see.

Someday we'll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell
We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half-asleep
And have you heard voices
I've heard them calling my name
Is this the sweet sound that
Calls the young sailors
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be.

Someday we'll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
La da da dee da da do
La da da da da dee da do


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Myrrh on 8:15 PM
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Tuesday, October 18, 2005
GUESS THE COLOR OF MY EMPTY HEART...

Waking up feeling empty was never this excruciating.
I miss my family, and I miss my friends; Already.
I got up from bed thinking about him again.
Him and his story about her.

Yesterday I had my official Callalily [watch out for 'em, they'll be the hottest band in the country in just months...] day. I was with my friendship Kate, Seksi Nori, my big son Kean with his ka-banda's Him, Lemuel, Alden, Tatsi and Tatsi's girlfriend Janelle and Him.

We raided Bulacan to celbrate Lem's birthday in their resort. We had fun there even though I wasn't feeling any good from the start. Later I got home and got set for Tatsi's celebration at Pasig.

My brother and I had a fight so I think the celeb was just in time for me to get the heck of leaving him alone for a while. Kean, Kate and Nori fetched me at my apartment and we had sweet LRT-line 2 for Santolan station.

We reached GreenPark in Pasig and had a long walk for Tatsi's place. We had al-dente spaghetti before the drinking session. After flicks of pics and cigs, we started the thing I really missed doing - beer please!

Aaron is a gunner by experience. We had mudshakes first, then sanmiglight's. We had different 'inuman topics' that were all concerened with love - the one I wished would never be talked about because I don't think I'd quite participate here. ;) Birthday wishes for Tatsi dear, Janelle's story, Alden's blah, Kean's thing, Kate's chuva, Nori's chever and who's left? oh! Aaron's ex which ultimately whipped me to agony.

If only I could carry the burden with him.
I want to love him without asking anything in return.
I want to embrace him even though his heart beats for someone - or some people.

Maybe this made me feel empty - again.

*****

Tonight I'll be leaving Manila for Cagayan. It's been quite a while since I came home that's why I'm pretty much excited to see my folks again.

It would be quite a time befor I may update my blog. I hope I could find the high spirit to do so...

I'm still worried with my grades. Iniisip kona lang na lahat ng pagdurusang 'to ay may kapalit... Sana nga.

*****

I still do love him.
I don't care if people think that this thing I do is self-inflicting.
Basta, I love him.
~and now at last, sinabi kong Love ko siya.


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Myrrh on 6:03 PM
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Saturday, October 15, 2005
LAST DAY, LONG DAY...

First sem's gone past. I'm really having a hard time coping with the post-finals syndrome. I hate this feeling - whether I pass all my subjects or not. I am fervently asking God's help so that I would not have a failing mark in my clearance. It'll be a big shame when I do such - not only for me but moreso with my parents. :(

So I restorted to diverting my attention to something else. Let me jot it all down here.

Right after the last exam:
1. I went straight to the faculty room hoping to see Mr. Matias
2. Mission Failed, I ran down the Org room.
3. I was blabbering on everyone how dumbass Myrrh is then Kean comes in the scene and asks me if I had some container for Kate's zagu. [ooops, medyo natigilan ako, sweet ng anak ko sa friendship ko...] Kean leaves after.
4. I remembered that I have to clean out my locker so I hurriedly went upstairs and impronto fixed my seemingly cluttery locker.
5. I went to the lobby to see if I could catch some of my classmates, I saw my anak J-anne and JC. J-anne's turning eighteen this 25th and JC's planning for a surprise party at Kowloon West, I handed my contribution to her. :)
6. I met my friendships at the Org room together with Kean. I bumped on to familiar faces on our way out and then I saw Dioysa with Bratzy Vladz.
7. I share my worries to Diyosa. We had Frosty with butterscotch topped with cookie crisps at Wendy's - when suddenly, *kablam!* I talked to Mr. Matias about my problem.
8. We went back at the pav., then all of my friendships and kean and I had to chow at 1611.
9. On our way to 1611, we dropped by at the Church to give thanks to HIM and asks for his help.
10.Kate, Rhyn and Jello had Prawn, Kean and Eliza had Buttered Chicken - and Myrrh had *drumroll* a whopping deep-fried breaded pork smothered with thick gravy sauce. haha
11. Rhyn had to leave. So did we after a couple of chit-chats.
12.Jello and Eliza went straight home after Jello's fixing-her-locker-thing.
13.I spilled my sentiments with my orgmates emeritus Mac, nori, et al.
14.Kean, Kate and Myrrh took a cab for Galleria.
15.After an hour, we reached the place. We had merienda at Sushi-Ya and for the first time, I didn't finish my Pork Tonkatsu (PorkChop-again). :)
16.Tatsi and Janelle arrives. Then the four lighted cigs for a couple of minutes.
17.Nagkayayaan to watch a movie. After a series of Jack-en-Poy's [kate,janelle and myrrh vs. kean,tatsi and aaron] where the Girls won, it has been decided that them hexahomosapiens watch Deuce Bigelow, the european gigolo.
18.After the discourse on where should Myrrh stay and where should we move by order of janelle, I just found myself at the middle of everything-and oh! beside Aaron too! Along with the previews, I called up Diyosa then I asked Aaron to speak with her. :) And THE MOVIE! Oh! The movie was bathroom funny, period.
19.After the movie, they smoked again sa labas ng 50th avenue. Super kulit ng mga guys plus the ka-hyperan of friendship kate.
20.We headed to the taxi bay and we set off home. Bid goodbye's and chevre chever chever...

Long day, eh?!

Well, what do I feel now?

I am worried.
I am excited.
I am missing my family.
I am hoping.

x's: please join me in praying for my subjects to have passing marks.


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Myrrh on 10:48 PM
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Thursday, October 13, 2005
FRIENDSHIP...



If a thing of beauty is a joy forever, then my friends are the prettiest.

Shop with them
…from divisoria to glorietta
Laugh with them
…from kate’s knock-knock’s to jeza’s dramatic stories
Cry with them
…from love sicks to tears of joy
Sing with them
…from spice girls to orig compo's
Dance with them
…from modern to classic
Watch movies with them
…from the prince and me to the corpse bride
Eat liempo, calamares, buttered chicken and pork chop with them
…from G. Tolentino to 1611
Take pictures with them
…from birthdays to in between class periods
Share dreams with them
…from the realistic to the unfeasible
Get hyper with them
…from rainy days to lunch to warm afternoons in school
Sip coffee with them
…from coffe indulgence to fudge españa
Rant with them
…from forgotten birthdays to special events
Hear the news with them
…from juicy scoops to the wackiest trivias
Chat with them
…from day ‘til dawn
Live with them...
...from worst days to perfect forever's

Hearts to you friendships. I'll forever be thankful for having you in my life...





1. Donna’s debut. The first night we had together.
2. Pink Butterfly princess Eliza on her 18th birthday.
3. Jeza and Myrrh one sunny morning at the corridor.
4. 1Iam, Room 418 – The class where we met.
5. First barkada pic using my phone.
6. Rhyn and I at Kamiseta.
7. Folk Dance 15, Second Sem., First year.
8. Kulit ni Kate!
9. Eliza’s debut at Max’s monumento.
10. Pa-cute – Myrrh and Eliza.
11. Basketball COED 22 – Second Year, First Sem.
12. Acctg review before prelims.
13. With friendships Erbel and Jeck during Jez’as debut.
14. At metro bar with Jello and Rhyn.
15. Pretty Jeanesse on her 18th birthday.
16. Jeck's ride on the way to Dagupan.
17. Sa labas ng liempuhan.
18. With Jello and Donna.
19. Pink Jello and Nature Myrrh. :)
20. The University where we met. UST.


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Myrrh on 2:00 AM
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Monday, October 10, 2005
IT WILL BE HARD, BUT I CAN DO IT.

He’s happy. I’m happy he is.

He likes her, her and her, and he’s happy.
He’s happy. I’m happy he is.

Letting go is a tough thing to do.
But when it will make him happy,
I’d be happy forgetting him.

To stop thinking of him,
Is tantamount to leaving your comfort zone.
But when he asks me to leave,
I’d be happy absconding.

Today.
He enjoys liking girls.
He’s into choosing a girl for him.
He’s happy and I’m happy he is.

So as I lay my feelings in a shoebox,
I start moving towards the end.
Maybe I should stay happy for him,
or maybe I should be happy for myself.

***

I realized that many people are getting affected by this emotion.
And if I could do something no to prolong the agony,
I believe this would be it.

***

My friendship even wrote a song for me.
Hearts to you friendship. here it goes:

Panaginip
-Kate Cruz

Sa piling mo'y langit
kung ika'y naaninag
galak ko na sana ang
makita mo lamang ang pag-ibig.

Naka-silong na sikreto
na nilalaman ng aking puso.
O kay saya sana
inanahagi sa'yo.

[*] Itatago ko na lamang
ang luha sa ngiti
pagkakailang tuluyan
ng minsan ika'y aking buhay,
sa minsan ikaw ang buhay.

Nais ko sana
iparama sa'yo
ngunit mukha niya ang
nasisilayan sa mga mata mo.

Gusto mang ibahagi
malaman mo man,
pag-aari parin niya
ang puso mo.

Repeat [*]

Bridge:
Sa panaginip na lamang
ika'y iibigin
Sa panaginip
ikaw ay akin.


***

With this I want to thank the people who had an extra shoulder, a spare hanky and a bottle of advice for one person like me who meets some guy and eventually falls in love with him.

Pamilya kayo nalang ang gagawin kong long-term inspiration. Salamat sa lahat. mahal na Mahal ko kayo, alam ng lahat 'yan.
Friendships more than words, thanks for the time you've always been giving me. With or without problems, I Love You sisters.
Bratzmates [aisce, pei, vladz] you've been with me in one of the loneliest phases of my life, and I thank God for giving me the chance to get to know you guys. Thanks for the sack of laughter - big help, sobra.
Coffee Partners [nori, mac, jo] thanks for the comfort. Super nakatulong talaga, I may have sounded really superficial but you still managed not only to hear, but to listen to my problems.
Kapokpokans [isaw, vahn, etc] salamat sobra. pasensya na kung nagalit man ako, ganoon lang talaga siguro.
Friendsters [renz, ivan, et al] classmates to the highest level, salamat sa pagpupuna pag hindi ako maligalig sa klase, hayaan nyo, magiging hyper na ulit ako.
Callalily [kean, alden, tatsi, lemuel] kahit pa anong mangyari, manonood parin ako ng gig niyo dahil mga kaibigan ko parin kayo.
Sa'yo masaya ako dahil masaya ka, and I think hanggang dun nalang lahat. Salamat sa pagiging ikaw, dahil hindi kita mamahalin 'pag hindi ikaw ang ipinakita mo [malamang di'ba], basta nandito lang ako everytime you need a shoulder to lean on sa taxi pag inaantok ka, or 'pag kailangan mo ng makikinig sa problema mo, at lalong-lao na para ilakad ka sa taong gusto mo, promise tsong, nandito lang ako.

Salamat sa Diyos.
Sana makaraos ako.
Sana maging masaya na ako.

...Kasabay ng bago kong banner, bagong buhay na naman tayo.


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Myrrh on 8:30 PM
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Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Dear YOU,

I’m not quite sure why I feel this way. My friends ask me if I Love you, which I deliberately and automatically reply fast with the “I don’t know” line. I discern reality that I’m not the kind of person you could or would spend your life with, but I am still hoping that somehow, someday, I would be able to make you experience this special feeling I have for you. Even though you like someone entirely different from me.

I’m sorry if I have to get jealous on every girl you lay your eyes onto. I guess it’s just my way of saying that one special person like you shouldn’t be with some girl he sees in a bar one night of going out with friends. I like you the way you are. Even though you like someone entirely different from me.

I know I longed for the almost-perfect guy to be with me on my voyage through life, but I want you to know that I long for your company more than any other guy in the world. Even though you only see me as a friend, or as a friend’s friend, or as a friend’s personal assistant, or even just a schoolmate, I still value your really warm company. It’s hard for me to behave properly when you’re in front of me because sometimes, I just get carried away. Even though you like someone entirely different from me.

I dream of walking with you on a sunset at the beach. Your arms around mine, or mine around you because I’m an inch taller than you so it would be a bit awkward if someone not taller than me would be seen embracing me, but who cares, no matter whose arms are around who, I would still be more than happy spending time with you. Even though you like someone entirely different from me.

Forgive me if I get too much irritating when I send you SMS asking how are you, or wishing you the best of luck before a gig or when I just feel like saying goodnight before you sleep. It makes me happy, though. Even though you like someone entirely different from me.

Finally, before I end this letter, I just want you to know that you were not the ideal person I wished to spend my life with. But you know what? I really don’t care, because you ditched my ideal ken; maybe with your gentleness, or with your funny personality – or maybe because you’re plainly you.

I still dream and long for you. Even though you like someone entirely different from me.

Tight hugs,

Myrrh


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Myrrh on 7:55 PM
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Saturday, October 01, 2005
Yeah.. Him...

So it's really him.
Yesterday I thought of walking by the beach with one tall, fair, handsome, neat and clean guy holding my hand.
But this moment, he made my typical ken guy a loser.


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Myrrh on 9:24 PM
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