Wednesday, March 29, 2006
HELP ME UNDERSTAND...
I can't understand why life could be this miserable. Two weeks back, I had the eeky yucky pox. Yesterday I've been vomitting like hell due to food poisoning or whatever.But my grades, you ask?
I prayed hard. I really prayed hard for my grades to be above the seemingly unattainable line. Yet I failed. Not in Accounting, nor on any single major subject.
I failed Statistics, and everyone's asking why.
I can't comprehend how life sometimes pricks me to death. My home is my sanctuary, and wvwryone knows that I ain't even gonna take a million bucks for me to stay here in Manila this summer. I'm dying to be with my family. I super miss them, I really miss them. God, I do.
My classmates who learned how depressed I am are still wondering how come I experienced the painful wrath of Prof. Salve Diaz. They would carelessly comment "Siya nga ang dapat bumagsak kasi wala siyang alam sa Stat. eh!" I don't know, but if there would be a KILL LIST Myrrh hasta do, she's definitely number one.
I can't gear up for the majors next year with deficiencies - that means, I have to complete all my subjects before June. I bargained awhile back if I could at least cross-enrol so as to still be with my family while taking up this f*ck, but the subject's still offered this summer. Gawddangshit!
I cried buckets earlier, but I cried more when my Sisters and my Mom called, they said that it's okay. I really feel bad. Though they say it's fine, for me it isn't. My parents have been supporting me and here I am, prancing around with a big FAILED mark on my forehead.
I know I'm obliged to face this, but still, I can't find the reason why I should. Punctuality isn't the cause (she barely checks the attendance), quizzes are average, the biggest thing I could point to, which she mentioned is the project I've failed to comply with.
Armelle told me I just needed three points to pass. But the 'professor' didn't take me into consideration. Now, she just emabrked a 5.0 failed mark in my Transcript. To hell with her!
Let's see how good I am this summer. I assure every living thing in this world that I'm gonna nail this.
God, please make everything fall into the right place. You know how much I need your help.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
ANGEL GABRIEL
Gabriel's out! Friendship Rhyn delivered a cute angelic boy last Thursday. Gabriel, my very very first godson from my friendships weighs a whopping 7.9 pounds. hehehe.. Rhyn was 8.9, I was 8.8, means mana sa mommy and sa godmother, este, fairy godmother.. hahaha... Basta! So cute the baby! Yesternight we made dalaw Rhyn. We fairy godmothers [Jeza, Kate, Jello and I] stayed there even after the visiting hours nah! Chika about lots'a things but the topic about Joseph (Gab's father) was on sentro.. Hahaha.. Pero I'm Glad me and my friendships got to bond again. Hahaha... Pics of Gabriel will follow.. Probably be uploading pics at my multiply [myrrhthemovie.multiply.com] next week.. Abangan nyo okies? ;)
Friday, March 24, 2006
I WILL MISS...
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
ADIEU, PCS... A farewell speech
There is nothing permanent in this world except change; everything has an end so as to unlock a new beginning. Indeed, each brush with the finish line gives way to an open outlet to start with. For more than a year working with you guys, I have learned myriad things, which up to now, I am deeply moved. I am aware that we all had shares of happiness, ecstasy, misunderstandings and conflicts, but within those moments, I consider myself being within the union of a family – with you guys as my brothers and sisters. Though we ended up standing with different principles with regards to student service and leadership, I might as well say that no matter what may come, I will always remember that blood is thicker than water – meaning, you guys will eternally be within the deepest recesses of my heart, believe me, I will.
Now, we’re bidding adieu not only to our seemingly laid-back, even-tempered Pre-Com life, but also to our beloved organization we once considered as our home – the largest college-based organization in the Royal and Pontifical Catholic University of Santo Tomas The Pre-Com Society. I will forever treasure everything associated with this organization, you may not know it but I will really miss the times we’ve shared. Actually, I’m missing most of it now.
But how can I possibly disregard every significant moment with you, guys? It’s next to impossible, I may say.
How could I forget my plump, bitchy, sour and bittersweet Czar who would always call me bitch in front of other people? Myrrh’s sole contender ala sigawan sa loob ng orgroom with a melodramatic tone na either pang-pocketbook or mang teleserye? The person who I could relate my biggest ambitions with, and who’s also one of my gimik buddies back then?
Forgetting Lolo Jonet is unattainable. How could I forget this over-aged, sarcastically healthy guy who would always try to instigate a debate? The one who I thought would never admit his faults but did moments after? The guy who would always ask me: “Myrrh, ayaw mo’ba magpakalalake? Masarap maging lalake” to which I would reply “Ano ka ba, fetus pa lang ako, bading na ako, mas masarap maging bading, at least never pa akong na-basted!”
Or will I ever not remember my Cucu Friendship? It’s undeniable, we got in the org together; her as the Sports Undersecretary, and I as the ever dedicated staff. We both shared lots of times in and out the boundaries of the org. Lunch outs with our other friendships, and volleyball games with not a single referee, what more could we not perhaps do?
How could I probably not recall Isaw, who I dealt with in a number of ways? A gimik buddy, co-host, shopping mare, karibal and many more! I could not help but laugh at those times when we equally showed immaturity, well, we’re both cosmopolitan women now, so we have to show some breeding! I will forever treasure the bond we’ve built, though it may not seem that important to you, you will always be my friend, promise.
And Vahn, Who was my first-ever co-project head? Who I share the hobby of narcissism with? My studio pictorial partner who also happens to be shopaholic. I will never forget the times we’ve shared – that includes going to G4 na katabi pa kita sa bus then you kinda made kwento sweet things about bout payatot, then months after, I just found myself cursing that bastard for hurting you! I will miss you, really.
And JC who I had the fiercest fight with. Everything’s changed, but I will always regard you as someone who has spiritually guided me. Though we had equal shares of shortcomings, I still feel blessed to have been tested by someone like you. Please be the person you should be. I know our principles do not coincide, but I still respect what you believe, and I think that’s the most important.
How could I also forget Carlsberg? Super hinahangaan kita because you’ve stood against all the temptations. You’ve balanced, personal life, school life and org life really well. Bilib ako sa tiyaga, sipag and dedication mo. I know you will go far.
And Joy who seems to always have the smile plastered on her face? Yung na missent sa’kin about her ‘mahal’. I know we haven’t built such closest bonds, but I will always remember you as a person who looks at life in her own way.
And lastly, I never could imagine forgetting Jerek! For the times we’re together. During cheering practices and helping Xy give you the surprise. I’ll also remember our Pony shoes and our trip to Divi before. And, your birthday’s in November – the nearest to mine among the officers. Hahaha. I’ll surely miss your incessant and contagious kakulitan.
For so many times, I have pondered on what more could I ask from such individuals. But I just end up savoring every moment I am with you. It’s inevitable that some of you may still, or will forever be supporting against what I believe, but let me tell you this; As long as you respect me, you will earn mine.
This is the end of our Pre-Com term, and now, as we move to another chapter in our life, I would like to be remembered by all of you as the Myrrh who stood by his beliefs, principles and standards in life, the one who would value everything you’ve shared, the artsy person who you could always rely on, the beautiful work of God who you all laughed, fought and fooled around with and the homosexual who is blissfully vulnerable and believes in true love.
I expect all of you to be courteous enough as I will be when we bump at each other in the premises of the building or even outside.
My Pre-Com life wouldn’t be this spicy without you all adding flavor to it.
I Love you all, guys and I will miss you.
Now, we’re bidding adieu not only to our seemingly laid-back, even-tempered Pre-Com life, but also to our beloved organization we once considered as our home – the largest college-based organization in the Royal and Pontifical Catholic University of Santo Tomas The Pre-Com Society. I will forever treasure everything associated with this organization, you may not know it but I will really miss the times we’ve shared. Actually, I’m missing most of it now.
But how can I possibly disregard every significant moment with you, guys? It’s next to impossible, I may say.
How could I forget my plump, bitchy, sour and bittersweet Czar who would always call me bitch in front of other people? Myrrh’s sole contender ala sigawan sa loob ng orgroom with a melodramatic tone na either pang-pocketbook or mang teleserye? The person who I could relate my biggest ambitions with, and who’s also one of my gimik buddies back then?
Forgetting Lolo Jonet is unattainable. How could I forget this over-aged, sarcastically healthy guy who would always try to instigate a debate? The one who I thought would never admit his faults but did moments after? The guy who would always ask me: “Myrrh, ayaw mo’ba magpakalalake? Masarap maging lalake” to which I would reply “Ano ka ba, fetus pa lang ako, bading na ako, mas masarap maging bading, at least never pa akong na-basted!”
Or will I ever not remember my Cucu Friendship? It’s undeniable, we got in the org together; her as the Sports Undersecretary, and I as the ever dedicated staff. We both shared lots of times in and out the boundaries of the org. Lunch outs with our other friendships, and volleyball games with not a single referee, what more could we not perhaps do?
How could I probably not recall Isaw, who I dealt with in a number of ways? A gimik buddy, co-host, shopping mare, karibal and many more! I could not help but laugh at those times when we equally showed immaturity, well, we’re both cosmopolitan women now, so we have to show some breeding! I will forever treasure the bond we’ve built, though it may not seem that important to you, you will always be my friend, promise.
And Vahn, Who was my first-ever co-project head? Who I share the hobby of narcissism with? My studio pictorial partner who also happens to be shopaholic. I will never forget the times we’ve shared – that includes going to G4 na katabi pa kita sa bus then you kinda made kwento sweet things about bout payatot, then months after, I just found myself cursing that bastard for hurting you! I will miss you, really.
And JC who I had the fiercest fight with. Everything’s changed, but I will always regard you as someone who has spiritually guided me. Though we had equal shares of shortcomings, I still feel blessed to have been tested by someone like you. Please be the person you should be. I know our principles do not coincide, but I still respect what you believe, and I think that’s the most important.
How could I also forget Carlsberg? Super hinahangaan kita because you’ve stood against all the temptations. You’ve balanced, personal life, school life and org life really well. Bilib ako sa tiyaga, sipag and dedication mo. I know you will go far.
And Joy who seems to always have the smile plastered on her face? Yung na missent sa’kin about her ‘mahal’. I know we haven’t built such closest bonds, but I will always remember you as a person who looks at life in her own way.
And lastly, I never could imagine forgetting Jerek! For the times we’re together. During cheering practices and helping Xy give you the surprise. I’ll also remember our Pony shoes and our trip to Divi before. And, your birthday’s in November – the nearest to mine among the officers. Hahaha. I’ll surely miss your incessant and contagious kakulitan.
For so many times, I have pondered on what more could I ask from such individuals. But I just end up savoring every moment I am with you. It’s inevitable that some of you may still, or will forever be supporting against what I believe, but let me tell you this; As long as you respect me, you will earn mine.
This is the end of our Pre-Com term, and now, as we move to another chapter in our life, I would like to be remembered by all of you as the Myrrh who stood by his beliefs, principles and standards in life, the one who would value everything you’ve shared, the artsy person who you could always rely on, the beautiful work of God who you all laughed, fought and fooled around with and the homosexual who is blissfully vulnerable and believes in true love.
I expect all of you to be courteous enough as I will be when we bump at each other in the premises of the building or even outside.
My Pre-Com life wouldn’t be this spicy without you all adding flavor to it.
I Love you all, guys and I will miss you.
Monday, March 20, 2006
FINALS
paired with
QUALIFYING EXAMS
paired with
QUALIFYING EXAMS
it's giving me the creeps.
causing me nausea.
Help me pray for an all-passed clearance.
God, I love you, please help me.
x's: I'm totally loving Multiply.com if you happen to have time, add/visit my account: http://www.myrrthemovie.multiply.com
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
NAGDADALAGA...
So old, yet so young.
Let me personally break the news.
I have the chicky-yucky-pox. And God knows how much I despise it. I swear to all saints, I h-a-t-e every inch of what it may suggest. I dislike every bit, bead and wound I get from the swelling spheres on my skin’s surface. I can’t even look at the mirror! My face (which hasn’t been wrecked since birth) is now undertaking a major, repeat, major destruction. The itchy mixed with ouchy feeling is undeniably killing me. The pricey medicines and creams that cost my Mom and Dad more than a grand per day really sucks. The thought that I’m not with my family in this really down (and ugly) point in my life makes me wanna just sleep for ten days then wake up all well. Add to them loath-able‘s are my other professors who won’t take me into their “precious” consideration. What the f*ck?! Do they want me to get my swelling ass in school?
But with every pain and itch I am facing right now, I would just like to thank someone who has always been there for me. From the first few ‘beetles’ up to those on my palms, armits, toes, scalp, and down there. My big brother, Meo. Thanks talaga, je. You just don’t know how much I’m thankful for having you as my brother. Tiga-luto ng breakfast, tiga-bili ng meds, tiga-bili ng mga food cravings ko, tiga-serve ng kung anu-ano, notwithstanding the threat that he might have not had the illness before. Love You, Je.
Dad will be here on Thursday. I’m so excited, pero lungkot parin kasi inabala kopa sila. Shobe’s High School graduation’s tomorrow, Myrrh’s proud of yah, love ysis.
Chickenpox. I hate it, I hate it.
Pero I still love my life. Because of the good people who are givin’ me some love. ;-p
Anyways, share lang before this really nerve-wrecking incident...
Saturday, March 11, 2006
I WANT THAT BIG ROCKET...
Yesterday, I decided to try somethin new. EK's Space Shuttle really gave me the creeps. But twenty-four hours ago, I 'test-drived' it. The next thing I know, I'm on my fifth ride.When you try to face your fears, sometimes, you just can't help but be addicted to it.